Would you ask a guy out?

Category: Dating and Relationships

Post 1 by Emailaddressthief (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Sunday, 18-Jan-2004 11:07:24

For the girls; if there was a guy who you really liked would you ask him out?

Post 2 by rainbowfairy (Account disabled) on Saturday, 31-Jan-2004 13:02:29

Probably not! Only if I really like him alot!

Post 3 by Emailaddressthief (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Sunday, 01-Feb-2004 13:55:53

How sad. A lot of people read this post and only one replied. People people people tell me your opinions!!

Post 4 by puppybraille (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Friday, 06-Feb-2004 16:41:45

Probably not! I'm not interested in dating! I'd really have to know the guy well. And then I'm not sure.

Post 5 by retro-lady (Generic Zoner) on Wednesday, 14-Apr-2004 21:36:52

I wouldn't waist my time cause all guys think I'm ugly and I'm too shy anyway.

Post 6 by Don'tBlaisMeBro (Folle et simple est la brebis qui au loup se confesse.) on Wednesday, 14-Apr-2004 23:35:10

I would...I think?
Lol it seems kind of scarey though.


CRG

Post 7 by Jage (Zone BBS, a decade of madness) on Thursday, 15-Apr-2004 0:15:24

If you're a guy and you're just gong to stand back and wait for the girls to come flocking over to you to ask you out, which seems to me to be the question you're really trying to ask, then that just isn't gonna work. Or am I reading into this too much?

Post 8 by Emailaddressthief (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Saturday, 17-Apr-2004 20:03:35

You read into it to much. There was a guy I liked who didn't even know I existed. Well, actually he did but I don't think he knew I liked him and some guys are really shy so if you wait for them to ask it will never happen.

Post 9 by Jage (Zone BBS, a decade of madness) on Saturday, 17-Apr-2004 20:13:54

True, I probably did. Still, it's about taking some chances. I'm not the greatest at it either, unless I've had of refreshing liquid, but...

Post 10 by InternetKing (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Sunday, 02-May-2004 21:56:48

Well, it really actually anoys me that there's so called made up rule that girls shouldn't be the ones who ask out and that even if they really really love us they still shouldn't do it. Seems really stupid to me. I lost 2 chances in life because of that. Well, at least I think I did. Both time, I could really tell that girl liked me, it was kind of obvious, but at the time, I just couldn't ask her out. I still get anoied even now every time I think of it even though it was like 5 years ago, so if those girls asked me out, who knows what would have happened. I really don't understand why, even though it was so kind of obvious that she liked me I didn't do anything, I guess I was scared that if I did, wshe'd get really pissed and we'd loos our friendship, at the time we were really good friends, but after school we lost touch so now I have no idea where she is, well either of those 2 girls that I liked. And then, the only and probablly the last time in my life when a girl asked me out, lol, I wasn't even at all interested in her. Ah well, such is life.

Post 11 by charisma (Here today, gone tomorrow.) on Saturday, 15-May-2004 18:28:54

i too have had a similar experience. I was head over feet in love with this guy, but I was afraid to ask him out because I was so afraid that it would ruin our friendship. He was probably about the closest friend I've ever had. I was also afraid of rejection, so that kept me from telling him how I felt about him. I carried it around for 7 years, but I found out later that it was probably a good thing I didn't tell him because the whole time I was in love with him and afraid to tell him, he was engaged too this girl and eventualy married her. My friend is originally from Cambodia, and he had gone back there to see his family he hadn't seen since he was 4 years old. He met this girl and the made arrangements to be married, and they had a long-distance relationship for about 3 years before he went back there and eventually married her. The whole time I had no clue as to what was happening because he didn't tell me about her.Not once. I found out about it from a friend of mine and called him on it, and he finally told me.
So, it's a good thing I didn't tell him. We're still good friends, but I had let 4 or 5 years go by before I could bring myself to even talk to him. I feel bad about it now, but at the time I felt that I couldn't be friends with him because I thought it would be too complicated. But I found out that he and his wife are happy, and I'm happy for them
Sorry for such a long post..

Post 12 by JH_Radio (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 25-May-2004 22:15:16

Hi all. I don't understand why we are expected to do everything. Think about it. Girls are expected to clean, cook, do your shopping etc... Guys are expected to ask the girl out, ask the marrage, ask for sex, not cry, only be mocho, handle problems like a man, drink lots of beer. Its ashaim and saddins me that this is all the case. I believe that its a stereo type that girls and guys are expected to do certain things, but I am a an emotional person that is open about my feelings. I am also outgoing,and I wouldn't pay for everythihg if I went on a date. Not every time, anyway. Guys can cook, clean, and s hop to. I personally love flowers. Not that I'll go out and by 'em, or plant them even for myself. However, its so nice to smel them when my windows are open. It is also nice to hear birds. POeople get anooyed at them I knows, but since I have a hearing impairment, I don't usually hear them unless it is four in the mornign. SO quiet. So nice. Peace out all.

Post 13 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Saturday, 03-Jul-2004 21:28:59

I've never actually asked anyone out. I do however tell them how I feel and then either, wait for them to kinda give me an answer of some description, or be content for a while knowing that they know, but work to find out if they like me as well. Because I also can't stand rejection; I would rather wait and suss a situation out further myself. Of course, that can get messy too - like anything else! I hate losing friends over it (which was sort of the case recently only I am pretty sure we can sort it out!)

Post 14 by DixieGirl (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Monday, 04-Oct-2004 17:53:41

Hey yall crazy people (Smile)
I have asked only one guy out. It was the best decision I ever made. He surely wasn't going to do it.. I am smiling like all get out now. But I prefer the guy to ask me out, however I'll definitely do it, especially if i know he has feelings for me.
In Him,
Dixie
,

Post 15 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Tuesday, 05-Oct-2004 12:17:18

Hehe, I'm a guy and would definitely not ask a guy out. ;)
But, seriously, if you like someone, what is the worst that's going to happen, they're goig to say no and then you're no worse off than if you never asked in the first place. I mean, if you never do you can keep blaming yourself and wondering what would have happened if you asked the guy out, but if you did and the guy said no you at least know that it wouldn't have worked. And, hey, you're only as pretty as you believe yourself to be :) so up with the self-confidence folks. :)
I've both asked girls out and they've asked me (no, hehe, I don't have that many encounters but a few relationships). I believe in my current relationship she made the initial move after a lot of suggestions but I would've hadn't she done it first. If you like someone, go for it, grab them while they're availible <grin>
cheers
-B

Post 16 by InternetKing (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Wednesday, 06-Oct-2004 12:47:26

Well I agree with you to an extent, like, if you like someone, ask them, go for it, what have you got to loos? However, I have once lost a very good friend because of it. Or maybe she wasn't such a good friend because I guess if she was she would have tried to keep a friendship even after I've suggested that we should try a relationship. She claimed that the only reason why I was friend with her is because I liked her and wanted a relationship and that now I know that she didn't like me in that way I wouldn't wanna know her anyway any more. I tried to prove that it wasn't the case, that obviously I was upset about the fact that we can't have a relationship, but that I'd still treate her and respect her as a friend. That quite discouridged me nad since then I found it quite difficult to make the first move. I have asked girls out after that though. It still does anoy me, as I wrote before in this topic, that so many girls believe in this stupid made up rule that girls shouldn't ask out. Why? What the hell could be so wrong with a girl asking out and showing her feelings openly? I mean I understand if someone has reason like mine in the way that they might be afraid of the rejection or loss of friendship or what ever, but I know some girls in life who'd do anything to have a relationship with a guy, but still wouldn't ask them out simply because she's a girl and she doesn't believe that it's a right thing to do for a girl. Only 3 girls asked me out so far in life, 2 of them wee just weird strange freaks, 1 of them asked me out after about like a day of knowing me, which is just perfetic, she didn't even know anything about me, and the third one turned out that only did it to use me for money and didn't see anything in me as a boyfriend/someone she truely loved.

Post 17 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Wednesday, 06-Oct-2004 15:00:11

IK
Yeap man, it's a good point. It's hard when you've become close friends with a girl to risk taking it to the next level, I wasn't thinking of that. I ended up with a friend of mine, we had been friends for 7 years before this very megical weekend where we hooked up and we dated for over a year. But then we figured out that we didn't have the right type of feelings and it was more of a super close friendship than love and it almost destroyed the friendship. But we broke up mutually and without cheating or major fighting and 2 or 3 months later everything was cool, we're still good friends and we can laugh at the days we dated, but it made me realize I could've lost her. :) Basically if you think you like someone, get to know them as well as you can without totally establishing the friend label .. and it's hard to know when that is I think. Because you can't have a lover who can't be a friend, if you don't have friendship you have nothing, but still, I mean, don't let shyness or you determining you'll be rejected keep you from asking somene out, that's my point. If you already decide "no" and never ask your chances of getting a yes are 0. And there is always hope.

Post 18 by melodica (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 06-Oct-2004 15:35:37

I did make the first move in my last relationship, but seeing as I'm a guy-chaser and my last one didn't work out, I'd not ask a guy out again. I'd give him very subtle hints to move our friendship forward, then see where he wanted to go from there.

Post 19 by torian princess (The original Blakanadian.) on Wednesday, 06-Oct-2004 15:55:45

I don't think I would...

Post 20 by Emerald-Hourglass (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 06-Oct-2004 18:26:16

No...I could never ask a guy out. I'm afraid he would reject me...but? I would give strong hints so maybe he would end up asking me out or something. If But i don't know if I could ask a guy out. I've never been asked out, I guess it's because I'm so shy...dunno.

Post 21 by CatWoman721984 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Wednesday, 13-Oct-2004 20:00:38

I wouldn't because I'd be too afraid I would be rejected.

and I'm a tad shy

Post 22 by comanike (The Slightly Mad Aussie!) on Thursday, 14-Oct-2004 1:16:20

matrix and I never officially asked each other out, we just told each other we loved each other one day and it was me who said "so what do you want to do about this?" which was I guess in my way asking him out, simple but affective, cause it worked, how ever we had known each other for about a year and a half before we took it to the next level so the only piece of advice I can give on this subject is follow your heart get to know that person and when you feel the time is write tell them how you feel the worst thing that can happen is they will calmly tell ya know and you will be no worse off because being honest in my opinion is better then sitting around waiting for things to happen. have fun finding that special someone and don't ever give up! oh and another thing just because you met someone who you like on the net or what ever don't listen to the rest of the world and think that it is wrong because if you do you could be missing out on the opertunity of a life time, I know if I listened to the rest of the world on the subject of long distance relationships and the net, I woudln't be the happy girl I am today. catch ya all and sorry for the long post heeheehehe.

Post 23 by InternetKing (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Thursday, 14-Oct-2004 8:07:55

Couldn't agree more with everything you said. I had a few relationships that didn't neceserilly start with that official asking each other stuff, but rather expressing each otehr's feelings about the situation and each other. I think the best things in life and this very much applys to relationships, happen spontainously. If you sit there for days thinking about how you should ask someone out, it puts pressure on you, so, in my opinion, it's the best just to behave naturally, tell the person how you feel about them and it will work out a lot better. As for the internet/long distance relationships, at first, I used to be a bit skepticle about all that, however, I changed my opinion, even though I haven't really, so far, had a serious Internet/long distance relationship, I don't see a big problem with it if you get with a wright person. It shouldn't matter if you met a person in a club, bar, street, train, work or on the internet, OK when you meet them at those other places and not the internet you phisicly meet them, you know what they look like, you have maybe more intimet contact, but still, the person is more important. Anyway it seems these days that people you meet in clubs/bars are all just up for 1 thing only and I'll use to your imagination to work out what that is, but going back to the topic of long distance relationship, I think if you love each other enough it can work out, OK as I said, I haven't had 1, or not yet, but I know that as much as long distance relationship can be difficult as I said if you really and truely love each other enough you can find a solution and if the love is real and strong you should be able to deal with it before that solution is found.

Post 24 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Thursday, 14-Oct-2004 12:04:17

Long-distance relationships are fine. They can be hard, misunderstandings can escolate very quickly into arguments, it's hard to miss the other person and not hve him/her grow with you and meet the same people as you do, but it's infinitely better than nothing and if you love the person and if you start making plans for the future and know that if you've dated for a year or two (or whatever time period you feel is right) you'll be moving together it'll help keep you together. I've been dating long distance for over a year, at times it's been hard and we've "broken up" a couple of times for a day or two but ultimately it has just been problems resulting from not being together and missing each other and wanting to simplify our lives, fortunately we understand the value of love and we're just about ready for her to move over. Yes, it's been hard, it's been weird sometimes but 95% of the time it's been beyond wonderful. You guys just got nothing to lose. :)

Post 25 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Thursday, 14-Oct-2004 19:08:02

wow! wildblew, I wish you guys the best of luck! :)
and as for the other posts of K and IK, well said .. couldn't agree more. so true!
good luck everyone! :)

Post 26 by season (the invisible soul) on Saturday, 16-Oct-2004 2:49:05

for me, i wouldn't take the first step to ask a guy out. maybe afraid of get rejected or ...

Post 27 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Saturday, 16-Oct-2004 10:39:57

if fear of rejection is the only 1 you have count yourself very lucky.

I'm bisexual so if i misread the signals its very likely to end in violence,go ahead and look at it this way, the more times you ask the better your approach will become.

Post 28 by GreenTurtle (Music is life. Love. Vitality.) on Saturday, 16-Oct-2004 17:45:46

Rejection sucks. i know it cuz im one of the few girls who has the balls to ask guys out. in fact i just got rejected by this guy like 2 weeks ago, now he hates me and refuses to talk to me, i guess thats ok though because if he wants to be that way then i wonder how long our relationship would've lasted anyways. But, if your a girl and your just waiting and hoping, where does that get you? Nowhere. thats right.

Post 29 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 17-Oct-2004 16:22:18

I have a few quick points to throw out here. First, guys fear rejection just as badly and deeply as girls do. So let's just say everybody fears rejection no matter who they are. That's a part of being a human I suppose. So if a guy doesn't ask a girl out, he's probably just as fearful of rejection as a girl is. It's sad that we're given so many ideas and messages that seem to make us believe how inadequate we are and how lacking we are in comparison to others, especially models and celebrities and generally cool people.
Second, although I'm in a very happy relationship now, I wonder if in my past there were women who were interested in me but dared not say a word? I would have had no way of knowing unless I was told, because I'm one of those people who just doesn't pick up on hints. Plus, since I can't see, there's no way I could have noticed any non-verbal signals which suggested interest. The flipside of that, though, is that I noticed in my past that I attracted women who had little to no self-esteem so they thought I was the best they could have or they took my kindness towards them as romantic interest. That's not good.

Post 30 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Tuesday, 19-Oct-2004 17:35:14

hey Labyrinth, mostly agree with you in that I am sure most guys would fear rejection as well but it's .. kinda confusing because how many guys can we count on our fingers who actually are looking for a commitment/relationship as oppose to just .. mucking around? I mean I know I am generalizing to what I know but .. it seems that as a rule, guys and girls think differently. I mean .. why do a lot of guys like one night stands and can't stand the idea of relationships? I dunno .. either guys are really good at masking their true feelings (which i have heard as well), their sex drives are way bigger than their emotional-commitment drives or I should just shut up because "everyone is different". sure, girls can be just as confused but I've seen it more with guys. Mind you, I haven't had much experience, in fact, nothing at all .. just from what I've observed and the few direct discussions I've had on this topic with guys.

Cheers!

Post 31 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Tuesday, 19-Oct-2004 17:58:10

You know, that guys vs girls and one night stand thing is totally stereo typing. In my group of friends (and I might have very strange friends I don't know, but I always thought of them as normal people) the girls have actually had more one night stand than the guys. I don't know a single guys that likes them or particularly wants them so I find that statement just very strange. And I've talked about this with a lot of guys. I hate the idea of one night stand, you can get STDs you won't enjoy it because there are no emotions in it, you'd be worried about the sexual deseases and you and your partner don't know each other sexually, what you like what excites you and, most of all, if there's no love it's not like the sex would be that great, it's the idea of merging with the person you love that makes it the most wonderful experience in the world .. and, yeah, it sounds like a romance novel and, hey, it is not always, the first times with your partner it's strange and it certainly won't be perfect right away but it becomes so through your shared emotions, one night stands have none of this and I think a lot of people realize this. :) Just my thoughts.

Post 32 by InternetKing (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Wednesday, 20-Oct-2004 4:28:36

Hi Rd freak, yes I think that it is a bit of a generalasation all that that guys are not up for a commitment, are only outthere for 1 night stands ETC. however, I know of several guys who are like that, but then again I know of a quite a few girls that are like that and I also know of quite a few girls who were treated like shit because of guys like that. Maybe there's more guys than girls that are not very mature about relatinships, but we just don't know, but it certainly happens on both sides. As for my self, I'm definitely not afraid of a commitment and I'm not up for 1 night stands. Yes, I messed about in life a bit, not so much because I enjoied, but because I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I know that all I want is a girlfriend, I don't want 1 night stands, I don't want messing about, I want a girl who'll truely love me, respect me, trust me, treat me wright and me do the same for her. Sometimes though I think why do I bother because it seems that no girl wants this and the nicer I am the more treated like shit I get, but I guess there is someone outthere who will realise what kind of person I am and that will like me for who I am.

Post 33 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Wednesday, 20-Oct-2004 4:48:12

Well, Rdfreak, I figure that guys fear rejection, even if all they want is a roll in the hay. They don't want to be let down or overlooked or whatever it is. I honestly can't say much, as I didn't do all kinds of hanging out with guys exclusively. I figure fear of rejection is a human thing and not gender-specific.

Post 34 by Angel of Music (Phantom Flutist) on Tuesday, 26-Oct-2004 18:00:56

Hi all. Just saw this topic on the boafds, so I thought I'd put in some input. Tee hee.

I'm wondering, though, when you say "ask someone out," do you mean like out on a date, or out like the Junior High "Going Steady?"

Post 35 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Saturday, 04-Dec-2004 0:26:23

no, not even if i liked him alot, im too shy!

Post 36 by hawaiianheart (Veteran Zoner) on Saturday, 04-Dec-2004 21:50:06

Hey bug, it really depends on who the guy is. If I know him well enough, then I wouldn't mind so much, lol! I've only asked out 2 or 3 guys before, and luckily, I didn't get rejected, Hehe. Other then that, I left it up to them, or to my friends to ask them for me :P

Post 37 by Juliet (move over school!) on Tuesday, 28-Dec-2004 15:55:24

My family always tried to teach me that same theory that you shouldn't ask a guy out, but the way I look at that that, that's old-school as hell. This isn't the 1950's anymore, and if you don't tell someone how you feel about them, how are they going to know?
I've told a lot of guys I'm interested in them; some have rejected me, and some haven't, but at least they knew about it.
Sure, I'll be nervous as hell when I attempt to tell a guy I'm interested in him, but at least I manage to get my courage up to do so.

Post 38 by Chris N (I just keep on posting!) on Tuesday, 28-Dec-2004 20:34:48

Good going Juliet.

Post 39 by puppybraille (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Thursday, 24-Mar-2005 16:04:01

Nope, I wouldn't ask a guy out. I'm trying to stay single.

Post 40 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Friday, 15-Apr-2005 8:13:58

Hm. Generally I'm very, very shy and reserved when it comes to that. And if I dared it, I would do it via letter or email. I am glad that this time my BF asked me, I would not have had the courage. Sounds strange, but that's just me.

Post 41 by asdfghjkl (Account disabled) on Friday, 15-Apr-2005 18:11:46

Sorry but I've been through so much crap that I wouldn't ask a guy out over my dead body,... not even if I liked them a lot, because I can't lose someone. Lately, I've been asked out, and I liked someone, but I said no because I was too scared that something bad would happen like it always has. I now have very few friends whom I can trust, and I'm not about to lose another.

Post 42 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Saturday, 16-Apr-2005 16:17:36

I was scared of that first, too, but if you never dare to go out with anyone, sorry, but then you never win!!

Post 43 by shea (number one pulse checking chicky) on Saturday, 16-Apr-2005 20:55:19

buggy bug bug, go for it. Lik juliet said it's not the 1950's anymore. Don't be afraid to tell him your feelings. If it is ment to be then he will respect you for putting your feelings out there for him. Even if it don't happen romanticaly, it will show you what a true friendship you have. Best of luck. smile- angel

Post 44 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Sunday, 17-Apr-2005 3:32:01

yep totally agree Juliette!

Post 45 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Sunday, 17-Apr-2005 9:05:58

I mean I never asked a guy out but if someone asked me out and I truely love him then I never said no.

Post 46 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 20-Apr-2005 17:32:21

If i like a guy, sure we can go out as friends. i can ask him. its easy were friends right? were cool !!!!

Post 47 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Thursday, 21-Apr-2005 12:12:36

Well it depends on the person of course. I had such bad experiences in the past that I just can not do the first step but would definitely accept it if I'm asked and available, lol.

Post 48 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Friday, 26-Jun-2009 1:59:59

Yes, I don't see a problem with it.

Post 49 by rebelwoman (Account disabled) on Thursday, 28-Oct-2010 18:56:19

this topic makes me go "Oh my Lordy!" It pisses me off that women stand back and bat their freakin eyelashes and wait for the guy they like to come over and ask 'em out. This goes hand and hand with my concept of women being up front with men. You gotta go right up and tell 'em "Listen, you look ..." or in some of our case, "Sound so good. I wanna get together some time, yeah or naw?" It don't matter if you're a man or a woman, that's how you hook 'em damn it! Who gives a crap? If I really really like this guy, as the original post says, I'm gonna go for it. I don't give a damn if I have a dangly thing between my legs or not, that ain't the point.

Post 50 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Thursday, 28-Oct-2010 19:50:44

I agree with the last post.

Post 51 by Lisa's Girl forever (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Tuesday, 14-Dec-2010 13:10:39

Hey. I went forit! and i asked my b.f. ut! and it is working out wonderful. i am not shy. smile.

Post 52 by daileyt (Zone BBS Addict) on Friday, 28-Jan-2011 13:10:46

Hell yah I have no problem letting a guy know i'm in to him!

Post 53 by bryguy2 (Generic Zoner) on Friday, 28-Jan-2011 19:29:54

From the guy's point of view, I think you should. I was quite shy and not at all confident, believing that if I asked a girl out she would reject me (it happened). Aa I matured some, and got more confident, I did ask, and if I got turned down, I would just look elsewhere. After I got married, I found out there were a few girls who had been interested in me, and had they let me know I probably would have gone out with them at least once. So, go ahead and ask. You might be missing out.

Post 54 by rebelwoman (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 01-Feb-2011 22:30:39

This is the only thing that ticks me off about this topic. Women are still too timid to dig in their heels and say, "Hey you. I like you, wanna go to dinner?" Course, you can make it a little more girlie and sweet and whatever, but there's nothing wrong with getting yourself out there. I didn't do it much in my first years of high school, even though I liked a couple guys, because I was afraid they had girlfriends and I didn't wanna ask anyone if they did. That was it. Now that doesn't bother me either. They'll just say the they're taken, and I smile and nod. The smile makes them feel at ease, because if you look down and get all sad or embarrassed they'll feel bad. I just don't like weak, wimpy, timid women. That's all

Jessie

Post 55 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Wednesday, 02-Feb-2011 16:10:07

I don't either, Jessie. thankfully I've matured a lot since I first posted to this topic. lol.

Post 56 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Wednesday, 02-Feb-2011 18:28:58

Post 54 and 55 are the hope the female half of the human race needs in order to truly be equals.
My father told me, when I was ten, if you're the one who's weak and helpless, or asking for special privilege, nobody will ever respect you. That's true, and it doesn't only apply to a blind guy, it applies to women. and the rest of us.
Nobody seeks the advice, experience, or assistance of a princess. Nobody considers a princess to be reliable, dependable, or much else except maybe an expensive and ornamental general nuisance.

Post 57 by ThaCake (Not the best, just better than you.) on Thursday, 03-Feb-2011 14:21:55

Let me think? yeah i asked a guy or 2 out in my day. mostly when i was younger. During the time i was losing my sight a guy rejected me wasn't used to it so had a hard time with it. But honestly, not to sound conceited cuz i'm not always, lol, I don't have that problem. I've never had to ask because, I'm a personal person, and i know where people stand on their feelings about me and i express mine as well. So, i've always known ahead of time, if a guy liked me or not.

Post 58 by Miss M (move over school!) on Saturday, 05-Feb-2011 17:44:35

I find being the aggressor an easier role. Not so much the "Hey you, let's date/fuck" approach, but more of a steady and gentle push towards "I'm interested in you." If it seems to be going in the right direction, THEN you go into the "let's date/fuck" indicators.

Post 59 by rebelwoman (Account disabled) on Sunday, 06-Feb-2011 17:30:28

Oh yeah I'm definitely the "Hey you, let's date/fuck" agresser. lol, and I get what I want. Honestly, I don't think I'd have my fiance now if I hadn't asked him out. He was real shy, but I can tell when people don't like me too, so I knew there was at least a chance. Everyone has a different approach, but generally the only that works is both people taking some responsability and control.

Jessie

Post 60 by Maiden of the Moonlight (Zone BBS is my Life) on Sunday, 06-Feb-2011 20:06:13

Wow, Jessie, I could not agree with you more. I hate how girls are like, "Omg, no! Never! I'm afraid of rejection!" Come on ladies. If you never ask, you could be missing out on the most amazing experience of your lifetime. And hell, what's the worst that could happen? He says no. If he were a true friend and he truly gave a damn, that wouldn't be enough to ruin the friendship.

I asked one guy out before, and yes, I got rejected. You know what's amazing though? Miraculously, I'm alive now! The funny thing too is I don't even know him anymore. I was thirteen years old when I did that, and it was the stupidest move I've ever made, but knowing I had balls enough at thirteen to do that is pretty sweet. Since then, if I liked a guy and we were pretty close (close enough to where discussing feelings was normal) I would tell him directly how I felt. If he felt the same, usually, he would ask me out. If not, then we moved on with our lives as friends or whatever. Since eighth grade, I haven't had to ask anyone out before they've either beat me to it or the feelings just wern't mutual, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't in the future.

Also just a side thought, I pay for my boyfriend's food many times because there are cases where I have money and he doesn't. There's no shame in that. He works hard and we're in college. I know he will pay when he can, and when he can't, I will.

Post 61 by rebelwoman (Account disabled) on Sunday, 06-Feb-2011 22:10:22

Hey Sarah, you bring up a good point. My fiance takes me out for dinner on Wednesday nights. He saves up all week for whatever we do that night. I take him out when I can, and now my pay roll is steady enough that I pay to go to dinner or whatever every other friday. Not quite as much, but I'm the type of person who needs to return what I'm given. I don't like to owe debts. But it goes deeper than that. I'm a contributer to this relationship, and if I'm not, then he has every right to control me. You know those 50s housewives who obeyed their husbands? The reason for that is because they gave next to nothing back in that marriage. Not entirely their falt, but still true.

If you don't give back, you don't deserve any control. Bottom line. I think that's fair, don't you?
Jessie

Post 62 by Maiden of the Moonlight (Zone BBS is my Life) on Monday, 07-Feb-2011 11:46:56

Totally agreed Jessie. It doesn't matter who pays or who cooks or who cleans. All that matters is both of the people do what they are comfortable with and that the relationship can flourish because of that. Communicate your comforts and discomforts. And for things you and your partner both don't like doing, like cleaning for example, do together. Make it fun. But no need to hand things off to one gender. Lol sorry for the ranting. I think I'm way off topic right now.

Bottom line. Don't pussy out. If you can't actually ask him out, at least just tell him how you feel. (Not that this topic was started like 7 years ago or anything. lol)

Post 63 by CrystalSapphire (Uzuri uongo ndani) on Monday, 07-Feb-2011 14:49:54

I'm very old fashion. I'd never ask a guy out. though I have dropped hints that i like him etc..

Post 64 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Monday, 07-Feb-2011 17:43:28

To be old-fashioned is to end up with someone equally or more old-fashioned than you, and to get old-fashioned results.
Nothing annoys me more than funny idealists who try and recreate what they think of from former times, editing out what they don't like, and *pretending* that's how it was / how it should be.
Cute, when it's six-year-olds playing at house or army fort, but hardly relevant or realistic in an adult environment.
And by that I mean nobody on here, but I bet everyone on here knows somebody like that. Unfortunately, I know several somebodys like that, all somewhere on the road to complete and utter disappointment when some brick wall called reality / things as they are comes along and shatters their illusions.

Post 65 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Monday, 07-Feb-2011 21:48:03

amen to leo's last post!! thank you, sir.

Post 66 by guitargod1 (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 08-Feb-2011 16:09:29

Regardless of gender, if you're interested in someone, then might as well go for it. Once you ask, you'll have an answer. If they say no, then they say no. Even though that can be really disappointing, you'll know what the deal is and won't have to wonder about it. If they say yes, then you've won on a gamble. But if you just sit back and hope they will come to you, you may be missing out on what you could have had if you had been up front. There is nothing wrong with being honest and direct.

Post 67 by starfly (99956) on Wednesday, 09-Feb-2011 8:10:26

Look, I was shy in highschool, hard to belive it! but if I had been out going and asked ladies out I would had more dates I bet. Those years I was in dang good shape and played football, did powerlifting and loved to work out. Any way that is not my point, I said this all to say if you really like a person just go and let them know how you feel!. :) good luck!

Post 68 by CrystalSapphire (Uzuri uongo ndani) on Wednesday, 09-Feb-2011 8:35:58

There's nothing wrong with honesty... Infact I prefer it but I just won't ask a guy out...

Post 69 by Thunderstorm (HotIndian!) on Wednesday, 09-Feb-2011 8:55:44

I won't ask a guy either.

Raaj.

Post 70 by rebelwoman (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 09-Feb-2011 16:10:18

lol Raajy, I hope not ;)

Anyways, Starfly I was quiet in high school too. Not shy. When people talked to me they were surprised that the volume of my voice is naturally pretty loud. I just didn't like to talk to people. No one saw my true personality come out unless I was surrounded by family or friends, and that's how I liked it. I didn't wanna change into an always outgoing loudmouth, and I'm still the same way now. Soft-spoken, low-key. I'm a cowgirl, and cowgirls save their breath for breathing.

Besides the point, I stand up and scream to get what I need. For example, 17 year old MsLow-key Jessie once saw a hot guy driving down our street. My friends were rolling on the ground laughing when I jumped up and said so, whistling and wooping and shouting "Daaaamn, you's a fiiiiine futher mucker!"

The ppoint of all that is, no matter how shy or untalkative you are, you have the right to be a go-getter. Go get it if you want it. Make it yours, and if that's not possible, at least you have the satisfaction of knowing you tried, and there's no way you didn't have a chance.

Jessie

Post 71 by Lisa's Girl forever (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Sunday, 10-Apr-2011 10:09:47

I was forward and asked myboo out. and we are happythin ever!behonest. and ask 4 what you want smilely.

Post 72 by Naked Driver (Generic Zoner) on Tuesday, 26-Jul-2011 2:09:05

i have, many times.
more specifically, i have asked a large numbers of guys if they want sex rather than “going out”. that is something i do a lot!
it is difficult to explain the concept of gay cruise areas to those who have never experienced them. basically, they are places where guys hang out to look for someone for anonymous quick sex. i doubt if they even care what their partner’s name is! i know of no analog in heterosexual circles.
there are some guys i have asked out, maybe to eat or some such, the first time i met them. other friends and i do more than sex too.
naturally, i also ask women out, but there is not the same motivation since i wati for a woman to express interest before going into sexual alleys.

Post 73 by nada (Account disabled) on Thursday, 10-Nov-2011 13:54:35

i will ask my boyfriend out but how can i do that?

Post 74 by smelly (Generic Zoner) on Tuesday, 15-Nov-2011 3:38:33

Thanks to all who have posted to this board it has helped me with my issue. I asked a guy out in highschool and I got rejected. Ever since that moment I have had this irrational fear of being rejected. It just feels so bad you know. But i suppose rejection is better than never knowing.

Post 75 by Lisa's Girl forever (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Thursday, 24-Nov-2011 0:25:18

i have. a long time ago. and it's wonderful.-